


the quiet

by marquisdegayaf



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Domestic Issues™, Emotional manipulation ?, Flashback, ITS THREE IN THE MORNING IM SO TIRED, M/M, Marvin is trying but he messy yk, PTSD, Whizzer has problems going on, Whizzer is a good dad, domestic abuse, just the one, oh ueah, set in 1982, this is au where Whizzer never got ill btw, whizzers Dad was a DiCK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:39:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9174088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marquisdegayaf/pseuds/marquisdegayaf
Summary: I saw this thing on that sick falsettos head canons blog I love that blog good blog and then I wrote this it's sad and happy and I'm so tired I promise I can write sometimes





	

It was eight in the morning. Marvin was getting Jason ready for school. Whizzer was sitting bleary-eyed at the table, eating the colourful children's cereal that having a stepson gives him an excuse to eat. Jason did something small, maybe made some dismissive gesture when Marvin said his bag was too heavy, maybe rolled his eyes when Marvin tried to fix his hair, maybe showed the slightest bit of resistance when Marvin went to hug him, Whizzer doesn't remember, but he does remember what happened after. 

Marvin shut off. 

His expression went from soft and kind set and grim in seconds. His voice became monotone. His actions less loose, more controlled. Everything about him was suddenly cold, and Whizzer felt sick. Jason looked concerned. Marvin continued making sure his son's backpack straps were level.  
"Dad?"  
"Mhm?"  
"Are you mad at me?" Marvin's face remained stony,  
"Did I say I was?"  
"No, but-"  
"-turn around so I can check your collar, Jason." The kid flashed Whizzer a worried look. Whizzer tried to play it cool, flashing Jason a forced smile and wishing there was more he could do. He could've just gotten up and ushered Marvin upstairs, but he felt frozen. Jason bit his lip. 

"Dad. Did I do something?" Marvin shrugged. Whizzer felt like he might puke then and there. "Dad?" Jason's face was ashen. Poor kid is anxious enough already without Marvin making it worse. Marvin was silent. Marvin was cold. Whizzer felt dizzy. "Dad?" Marvin had turned away from his son and was busying himself with the washing up. Whizzer noticed Jason's hands were shaking. Whizzer's hands were shaking, too. "Dad?"  
"You're going miss the bus, Jason." Marvin's voice was still monotone.  
"Dad, if I did something wrong just tell me so I won't do it again!" Jason's voice cracked. It hadn't done that in a while. Whizzer stood up suddenly, mumbled something about a shower and forced himself to walk out the room. Up the stairs. He had to get away. He had to. He had to because he understands the coldness and what follows it. It's the calm before the storm. 

Once, Whizzer was twelve and was three minutes late home from school. His father turned silent when he got through the door. He wouldn't tell Whizzer why he was mad. Whizzer pressed. And pressed. And pressed. 

And then, without warning, Whizzer's father erupted.

Whizzer is experiencing it all over again. The screaming. The threats. The same tirade about Whizzer's 'shiksa bitch of a mother' and how 'you are useless, Micah! Fucking useless!' Whizzer is experiencing the taste of copper on his mouth as he pled with his father to listen, to accept his apologies. Whizzer can't breathe. He has to go downstairs and stop Marvin from erupting at Jason. He has to because the calm won't last for much longer and the storm will hit without warning and Jason, who Whizzer loves more than anything, will be caught up in it. He has to go downstairs but he can't because right now he is not in the suburbs in 1982, he's in a shitty single bedroom apartment in Brooklyn in 1964, screaming as his father raises his fist-

He hears the front door close. It snaps him back to 1982 and the house. Jason has left. There has been no explosion. Whizzer's entire body is shaking with the sudden relief. He lifts his hand up to his mouth and bites down hard to ground himself in the present. Everything is fine. 

/////////////////

It's a Monday night so Jason is at Trina's. It's half past ten so Marvin is already in bed. He didn't eat the dinner Whizzer made, but then neither did Whizzer. Whizzer's been distracted all day. Marvin wants to talk about it. Whizzer crawls into bed next to him. Marvin runs a hand through his boyfriend's hair. Normally it would induce some kind of a whine or moan or other soft appreciative noise from Whizzer, but not today. 

"Whizzer?"  
"Marv?"  
"Are you feeling alright?" Whizzer shrugs. Marvin sighs and pulls his boyfriend into a hug. Whizzer's wearing a blue t-shirt which is far too big for him and boxers. His hair is a little damp from the shower. Marvin loves him. "Shrugging doesn't count as an answer, man. How do you feel?"  
"Fine. Good?" It's unconvincing.  
"Whizzer..." Marvin tries another tactic, kissing and nuzzling at his boyfriend's jawline. Normally he loves it, but today after twenty seconds of it he pulls away, shaking like a fucking leaf. Marvin is terrified. "What is it?"

Whizzer takes a deep breath and blurts out:  
"I don't like how you talk to Jason sometimes." Marvin almost laughs.  
"Seriously? That's it?"  
"I'm not joking, Marvin."  
"What's so bad about it?"  
"This morning... You can't act mad at him without giving him a reason."  
"I wasn't mad! Not really."  
"Well he thought so."  
"So what?"  
"So you left him second guessing himself and that's no good." Marvin narrows his eyes.  
"Are you seriously giving me parenting advice?"  
"What wrong with me giving you parenting advice?"  
"You're not a father." Whizzer looks shocked. That was the wrong thing to say. Whizzer regains his composure before he speaks:  
"But I was a son, once."  
"I know."  
"I don't want ou- your kid growing up scared of silence and full of self doubt."  
"Who said that's going to happen?"  
"Nobody, but it will if you keep doing the silence thing. And the arguing with Trina in front of him." Marvin doesn't like this. He feels like a child being scolded. Whizzer continues: "it's damaging, Marvin, you can't-" Marvin sits up suddenly and cuts him off:  
"Sorry, how the hell do you know what's damaging and what's not?" Whizzer's expression is unreadable. Marvin can't stand it. He sees red. He raises his voice and refuses to make eye contact with Whizzer, "how I raise my kid is my business, okay?"  
"I'm not questioning that, Marv! I just think-"  
"-I don't care what you think! You're not a father, you have no idea what's good for him, so step the fuck off!" That'll put an end to it, Marvin thinks. He always wins arguments if he gets a swear word and a raised voice in. 

He's about to lay back down when Whizzer mumbles something. "What?"  
"No."  
"No what?" He can't see Whizzer's face.  
"I do know what's good for him, in this case I do. I swear. Tomorrow you should call him and explain why you did that to him."  
"Why?"  
"Because you have to."  
"I have to?"  
"Yes, you fucking have to!" Whizzer's voice cracks when he says that. Marvin hears the tears in his boyfriend's voice, looks up and sees his shoulders heaving from where he's turned away from Marvin. It feels like someone's twisting a knife in Marvin's chest. He reaches out and touches Whizzer's arm. Whizzer turns around to look at him with wide, red-rimmed eyes. Marvin holds out his arms without saying a word and Whizzer moves into them as fast as he can. He rests his head against Marvin's chest and sobs. Marvin strokes his hair and coos softly, plants kisses on his forehead and mumbles apologies against his temple until Whizzer is a little calmer.

Once he's sure the worst is over, Marvin taps his boyfriend's chin to get Whizzer to look up at him.  
"Hey." Whizzer's eyes are still watery and his voice is husky when he speaks:  
"Hi."  
"Is this really about this morning?"  
"Sort of." Whizzer looks like he might start crying again. Marvin has to make it stop.  
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We can watch TV and go to sleep and talk tomorrow or the next day or-"  
"-no. I- I think-", Whizzer inhales shakily, "-think we should talk now."  
"Sounds good. Shoot."  
"I- uh- my father..." ah. Whizzer's Dad. His father, as Whizzer would say. There's no Dad about it, Whizzer would say. Whizzer's father is (or was, as far as Marvin knows) not exactly Abraham reborn. "My father was... not the best? And he would do- what you did- all the time and it- it's not okay it hurts and i-i don't- you can't- Jason can't-" Whizzer starts full on crying again. He's hysterical in seconds. Marvin is in pain at the look on his boyfriend's face. He speaks softly, cautiously:  
"Jason can't what, baby?" Whizzer cuddles closer to Marvin and whispers into his shirt,  
"Jason can't end up like me. That's why you gotta apologise to him. He can't be like me. I know I'm not his father, his dad, i know it's not my place but I love him all the same and it'd kill me if he ended up like me." 

Marvin wants to scream at himself for being the utter worst. For making the two people he cares about the most feel like shit. For causing this mess. He can't articulate that right now due to the lump in his throat, so he just holds his boyfriend even closer and whispers "can you even begin to understand how fucking glad I'd be if that kid turned out like you?"  
"Do you mean that?"  
"Of course! Look at you! Intelligent, brave, not totally neurotic-"  
"-handsome-"  
"-very handsome, very modest," -Whizzer cackles at that- "tenacious... I'd rather he be like you than me." Whizzer is finally smiling. Marvin thanks HaShem for his powers of flattery and for making Whizzer so complimentable. 

Marvin gives himself a moment to think before he speaks: "I'll call Jase tomorrow. Explain what I did and why and how it won't happen again. I'll talk to Trina about keeping Jason away from our squabbling. And I'll think before I do stupid stuff that makes him confused or sad" Whizzer nods. He looks proud. Marvin strokes his boyfriend's hair as he speaks: "do me a small favour in exchange?"  
"Sure."  
"Talk to someone about your father. Mendel, or someone he knows of his profession. I'll pay. You can't hold that stuff in." Whizzer looks a little nervous.  
"Alright..."  
"It'll help, promise."  
"Okay. I'll do it."  
"Wonderful. Thank you. Now go to sleep, you were tossing and turning all last night so you must be tired."  
"I am." He turns so Marvin is wrapped around him. It's soft and warm and safe. "Night, Marv."  
"Night, Whizzer." They both whisper their 'I love you's and drift off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY THIS IS PROBABLY SO BAD IM SO SLEEP DEPPRIVED 
> 
>  
> 
> Also Whizzer's backstory is based on the awful environment I grew up in,,,, i cant work through it so imma just project,,,, if ur dealing with any of the issues in this fic and need to talk to someone im here for u
> 
>  
> 
> Once again I'm sorry


End file.
